How gratitude supports your child's emotional growth

Group of people doing volunteer work, stocking boxes

October 30, 2024, 1:25 p.m.

Kelly Boland, PhD

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reflect on appreciation and gratitude. For children, practicing gratitude goes beyond saying "thank you." It plays a key role in emotional development and helps build lifelong positive habits. Thanksgiving presents an opportunity to nurture gratitude in fun and meaningful ways while also supporting your children's mental well-being.

How gratitude supports emotional growth in children

Teaching thankfulness does more than encourage good manners — it strengthens a child's emotional growth. Here are some key ways gratitude can help your child:

Increases empathy: When children reflect on what they're thankful for, they begin to appreciate the efforts of others, which strengthens their relationships and their ability to understand others' feelings.
Boosts self-esteem: Gratitude helps children focus on the positive aspects of their lives, which builds confidence and reduces the urge to compare themselves to others.
Improves emotional regulation: When children learn to appreciate the good things, they can balance their emotions better, especially during tough times or disappointments.
Reduces anxiety and stress: Gratitude shifts a child's focus from what's going wrong to what's going well. By appreciating the positive aspects of their day, children feel calmer and more optimistic, which helps reduce anxiety and stress.

How to encourage gratitude in your children

Encouraging a mindset of gratitude in children doesn't have to be complicated. Here are some strategies that can help:

Model gratitude: Children learn by watching their parents. By openly expressing gratitude in everyday life, thanking someone for their help, and acknowledging the positive aspects of your day, you set an example for your child to follow. Make a habit of showing appreciation, even for small things, and your child will likely mimic this behavior.
Ask the right questions: Instead of simply telling your child to be grateful, ask open-ended questions that prompt them to think deeply about their day. Questions like, "What was something kind someone did for you this week?" or "What's one thing you enjoyed about today?" help children identify moments of gratitude without making it feel like a chore.
Gratitude journaling: Journaling isn't just for adults. It can be a great way for children or adolescents to express their feelings of gratitude. Encourage your child to write down or draw something they are thankful for. This practice can help them develop a positive perspective over time and give them a way to reflect on their emotions.
Create a family gratitude ritual: Make gratitude a part of your family routine. Whether it's sharing something you're thankful for around the dinner table or expressing appreciation during bedtime, these small rituals can foster a culture of thankfulness in your household. When kids regularly hear and participate in gratitude-focused conversations, it becomes second nature.

Don't get discouraged

Talking about gratitude should not cause arguments or conflict. If you try to engage your child in these discussions, and they respond negatively by saying "I don't know" or "Nothing good happened today," try these strategies:

Avoid the guilt trips: Avoid responding with defensiveness such as "After all we give you, how could you not be grateful?" or sarcasm, as this undercuts the true message of gratitude.
Reassess your timing: Ask yourself, was this the best time to bring up this discussion? For example, was your child in the middle of another activity? Maybe your child would be more receptive to this discussion during dinner rather than before dinner when they're hungry.
Be ready to pivot when modeling gratitude yourself: "Sometimes I feel like nothing good happened during the day, too. But then I remember, I can usually find something small to be grateful for, like I love hearing you and your siblings laugh when I'm in a bad mood, or I love looking at the trees changing colors even if I'm stuck in traffic." The more you model gratitude out loud, the more children will think about it!

Thanksgiving-themed gratitude activities for kids

Thanksgiving is a great time to introduce gratitude in fun and simple ways. Here are some easy holiday-themed activities to help kids practice gratitude:

Gratitude cards: Instead of buying cards, encourage your child to make handmade thank-you cards for family, teachers or friends. They can include personal notes to show appreciation for those who support them.
Family gratitude jar: Set up a jar where family members can add notes about what they're thankful for. On Thanksgiving Day, read them together.
Gratitude tree: Create a "gratitude tree" by attaching paper leaves with notes of thanks to a tree made from branches or paper. It's a great decoration to spark meaningful conversations at family gatherings.

Making gratitude a year-round practice

Thanksgiving is a great time to begin or reinforce gratitude, but keeping these practices going all year is important. Here are some tips to help kids develop lasting habits of gratitude.

Be consistent: Add gratitude to your daily routine. Whether it's reflecting at bedtime, using a weekly gratitude jar or just saying thank you regularly, these small acts help kids see gratitude as part of everyday life.
Find gratitude in challenges: When your child is upset or frustrated, you should always validate and reflect on that emotion first. You can say something such as, "That sounds so tough" or "I can tell that really upsets you." As part of that discussion, there may also be an opportunity to encourage them to focus on something positive from that incident, such as, "I'm so sorry your classmate said that; that sounds hurtful. I'm so grateful for the other kids in your class who were kind and came to comfort you.” This helps them build emotional resilience and a more balanced outlook, but the key is to do this in a way that does not undermine validating their emotions — sometimes we can be both upset and grateful at the same time, and that's OK.
Volunteer together: Volunteering as a family, at a food bank or by donating toys teaches kids to appreciate what they have while helping others.

Incorporating gratitude into your child's life can improve their emotional development, helping them build empathy, resilience and a more positive outlook. By nurturing thankfulness, you give them valuable tools to navigate life's challenges with confidence and optimism.